What to say? This is sort of the question for blogs in any place I guess. Well I am at a pretty pivotal point in my life. I take that back. You know what? Every day is truly a pivotal point in one's life. That may sound pretty poetic and grandeur but seriously, what we do every day is what makes us. The way we react to the good and bad, the daunting and the easy, the way we move with or against the motions around us--these things are happening every day. Me sitting in class and choosing to complain or be grateful is huge. This is life, after all. Every day the realization of it's finite nature becomes just a hair more obvious.
I'm graduating college this year. Though it hasn't started too heavily yet, I am well aware the flood gates are about to open. I'm about to be deluged with the proverbial "so, what are you going to do after graduation?" questions. It's like senior year of high school has found its way on repeat and it's just as unnecessary now as it was then. Do I blame them for asking? No. Guess not. And it really doesn't bother me to answer, but I don't know if I have an answer they want to hear. I don't know what I'm doing really. Does anyone?
It doesn't faze me much. Call me a looney in love, but this is the truth. I've found the one. My one. THE person I will fall asleep next to every night and wake to in the morning. The person who will know all the stories about which people at work make me laugh and which ones are irritating. The one who opens my car door and loves me best when I'm a cranky unshowered mess. The one that will clean up kid throw-up at 2 am with me and always get second helpings of dinner I've made. We laugh at weird stuff. We dance to records. We're corny and probably gaggy in love sometimes. But we're connected at our cores. For life.
This is enormous. How can I be worried about 'choosing the correct career path' when I truly realize that God's will is real in my life, and has blessed me in ways I don't deserve and will never understand--one huge one being Jake (the aforementioned 'one'). I have a family that supports me, laughs at my jokes, admires my photographs and makes me swell with pride when I think of each one. I have friends that are true and lovely and make me laugh til my sides scream. People whose absence hurts. Sorry for all the gushing, but I feel this is my Oscar moment and I wouldn't be where I am now if I didn't have these people. These warm souls.
So, geographically and job-aphically, where I will be a year from now is vague to me. That's ok. Can we all take a moment to breathe in and breathe out and say that that is okay (disclaimer: planning is important and I am formulating plans for supporting myself and being productive in society, I'm just saying that the pressure on college seniors doesn't need to be the twelve-ton load of bricks it is to some).
There you have it. Nothing interesting, really. Nothing that probably warranted the maybe one, two people that follow this blog, to actually read through everything. But I got it out. And catharsis is a good reason to write.
Song (of course!) : Sinkin' Annie, Down, Down, Down, Down by The Republic Tigers
